I really need to stop watching these love movies at night by myself, last time I balled my eyes out and told Cat I needed to fall in love lol. Oh my life.
Vulnerability time yall…
So I was thinking about the prodigal son last night, then I realized I am so much worse than he was.
His problem was he got something and in the beginning took off running. He didn’t establish his life then have a mid life crisis and drop everything, bang boom and run off, no he did it from the get-go.
My problem? I am having a mid life crisis (of sorts). I tasted the honey and experienced the joy and pure awesomeness of God, then mid life crisis, bang boom, I ran, in the wrong direction completely and decided that though I still believed in God, I didn’t want to live for Him…
And how has it turned out? Flat. Empty. No regrets necessarily but just Lonely. I feel a hole in my heart where I know God is supposed to be, but there is still a battle going on inside of me that says “NO I want to do what I WANT to do, not necessarily the right thing, you’re only 20 once, right?” Yea, true, but you’re only 20 once, why not live it for God.
I watched a youtube video of a girl who RIGHT after she graduated highschool went to Africa for 10 months. She is now 21, living in Africa and a MOTHER to 14 girls (not whom she birthed) but whom were orphans.
Why can’t I be used like that? The answer is I can but why am I not letting God use me like that, I want to be used like that.
So here it all comes back to my mid life spiritual crisis, it’s not going to be over soon I can guarantee that because I got myself in the pit, and it’s harder climbing out then it is falling in. But this is me telling you I need to change, I want to change, and it starts now.
Please pray for me.
- A - If I'm in love.
- B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.
- C - How long it's been since I've kissed.
- D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.
- E - How many holes I have in my ears.
- F - Give me any options, like 'hot or cold?'
- G - The last person I said 'I love you' to.
- H - The last person I hugged.
- I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.
- J - How old I am.
- K- What my full name is.
- L - If I have siblings.
- M - If I forgive betrayal.
- N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.
- O - If I like my school.
- P - What kind of music I like.
- Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.
- R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.
- S - 2 habits.
- T- 5 things I love unconditionally.
- U - How many texts I send daily.
- V - 3 big dreams.
- W - An idol.
- X - If I've done something I regret very much.
- Y - If I like my town and why.
- Z - Ask any question you want.
- Just because I know no one will ask haha
- Me: I really can't stay.
- Bed: But baby, it's cold outside.
Being single because you’re so hot that no-one dares to ask you out.
Oh MY WORD, is THAT the reason why?! I always wondered!!!